Quixotic
by Asterxia Sy
Summary: Unrealistic. It's unrealistic to think that anything would change, that they'd ever be together. Or is it? Drabbles from different perspectives. Cloti
1. Clueless

A/N: So, after all these years of reading Cloti, I finally decided I needed to come up with my own version of how Cloud and Tifa got together. These are formatted like oneshots, but they all relate. Thanks for reading! ^_^

**Clueless**

Cloud Strife had never felt more defenseless. Not when he was bullied, or when he was rejected from SOLDIER, or when he was experimented on, or when he fought Sephiroth, twice.

She was just too damn beautiful.

He wasn't sure when he had first realized it. It had started as a crush, embarrassing habits he had of glancing at her periodically during class, of sitting in his room, straining to hear the faint piano music from next door, the flutter he felt in his heart when she spoke. The crush had morphed into a longing, a desire to prove himself: to be her hero when she had none other. That had changed to friendship, pure and understanding. He could always trust her, and he knew she could him. But when the crush, the longing, the friendship had become love, he didn't know.

He had never been in love before. He thought he was when the flower-girl was all that was on his mind, but now he realized she was a mentor, a big sister whose affections had been confused with Zack's. What he felt for her was a very different love. So when he started falling _in_ love, it was a very bizarre experience.

When the feelings started, when it became so very hard to breathe around her, when her face was the only thing he ever pictured, when all he wanted to do was see her smile, he sought professional help. Only a not-really-ex-soldier who saved the world could call asking a maybe-vampire-ex-Turk who slept in a coffin for thirty years seeking professional help, but for Cloud, Vincent Valentine was the only one he could think of who wouldn't laugh at him.

It was the first time he'd ever heard the man laugh. It was a soft sound, more of a low chuckle, but it was enough to shock the blond swordsman as well as make him scowl. "I'm serious Vincent. What's happening to me?"

The chuckling started again. "I would have thought that to be obvious Cloud."

"What?"

"You are experiencing firsthand the emotion of love."

Cloud blinked. "I what?"

Vincent sighed. "Shall I state it in simpler terms? How would Yuffie put it? Oh yes, you have the hots for her."

That phrase coming out of Vincent's mouth was so wrong. "You're telling me, I _love_ her?"

"Come Cloud, even you cannot be that clueless."

The click of the phone seemed to confirm the point. He had known it all along, ever since they were children; he had just never admitted it.

_I love her? _Something inside him stirred, a long lost something that had been dormant, a little fire blazing back to life. _I love her. _

The phone in his hand rang. He looked at the screen and his heart leapt.

His stomach was fluttering when he flipped open the PHS, his mind telling his voice to stay steady.

_I love Tifa Lockhart. _


	2. Habit

A/N: Thanks to ffangelwing for the review!

**Habit**

She had tried to stop so many times, but even though she was a strong woman who had fought through hell and back, there were just some things even she couldn't defeat.

She had loved him for just too long.

It was the hope that hurt. Her life had become so perfect in the last few weeks. Ever since he had smiled that shy, warm smile back in the church, everything just kept getting better and better. She finally had the family she wanted.

There was just one thing missing.

She knew he didn't love her. How could he? He had been in love was Aerith, and she had been taken away so violently. She knew he wasn't using her; they had been friends for so long, it was natural for him to trust her and for them to stick together. That's what friends did, right?

Still, she couldn't stop hoping.

She prayed he didn't notice. She was afraid, afraid that if he found out he would shut himself away again; destroy all the happiness that had come from his lifted burden. She knew him so well now, could talk to him about anything. He made her so happy, coming home earlier and earlier, his quiet "good mornings." She played the good friend, acting as if nothing was wrong, wondering if he noticed how many times she stared at him, how she'd brush her hand against his when giving him his lunch, how she'd always wait for him to come home, how she'd hold his clothes when he gave them to her to wash just because they smelled like him. The happy days just made her hope more, it was getting harder and harder to ignore the hope whose fire kept burning stronger and brighter every day.

She had hoped for too long.

The worst part was the kids seemed to be noticing the change in her behavior. When Cloud was gone the hope almost extinguished, all she wanted was for him to come back. Since the kids shared those feelings, the hope was different, her hope of a little makeshift family. Once that was accomplished however, the old hope burst back in full force. She winced whenever Marlene gave her one of her looks like she knew a terrific secret after catching her holding Cloud's clothes, and she would cough and change the subject when Denzel asked why she was looking at Cloud. They were going to find out if she wasn't careful. It was just so hard not to hope.

Her heart refused to break the old habit.


	3. Average

A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed! My updating my soon become irregular, college this year is...sucking out my soul...too bad it already belongs to Square Enix! ^_^

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**Average**

"As an average Edge resident, how do you feel about the WRO's new achievements?"

Marlene gazed warily at the man sent to interview members of her third grade class about their opinions of the reconstruction work. She wasn't weary of the WRO or the work they were doing. Not at all. In fact, if she were to answer the question, she would say that Uncle Reeve, Yuffie, Mr. Valentine and everyone else in the organization was doing a fantastic job with the regeneration. However, what kept her from answering was that word. That one word didn't really fit.

She thought about it while the man's eager gaze lingered on her face, waiting for an answer. She had a family, a dad, sort of a mom, a big brother and another dad, she guessed. They lived a stable life, now that Cloud had finally come to his senses. Yes, that was fine. That part fit with the word. It was that other part. The part that had become her and Denzel's new mission. The part that made her frustrated, tired, angry, happy and excited all at the same time.

They looked at each other. All the time. If she got twenty gil every time the garnet eyes fleetingly meet the Mako blue ones, she'd be rich. It was so obvious, the way they talked to each other, the way they were always blushing, the worry they had for each other. She knew, even Denzel knew! How could two of the strongest, most dependable, kindest, smartest human beings on the planet not know!

She wondered why Denzel looked up to him.

That part didn't fit with the word, that's for sure. There's no way anyone else in the world could be that dense. Marlene Wallace had finally decided that Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockhart were completely clueless. So, the word was out. Unless…

"Miss Wallace? Could you answer please?"

Marlene turned to the man, planted her hands on her hips and sighed. "Define average please?"


	4. Belong

A/N: Thanks to sasusakufan2357 and DemonicAngel67 for the reviews!

**Belong**

For once, he could breathe. For once, it was quiet. For once, he wasn't hurting. For once, he was happy.

Denzel couldn't remember the last time he felt he belonged.

The pains of his past had finally subsided, though he knew it would burden him the rest of his life. Cloud and Tifa were proof of that.

The difference was; he knew he could cope with it. When he was sad, Marlene was there to cheer him up. When he was scared, Tifa's smile would dissipate his fears. When he was angry, Cloud would help him channel it away.

He had a family; one that cared for him, loved him and let him be himself. He had never been so happy.

That's why he was so determined to make them happy too.

Their smiles had gotten brighter with the curing of the Stigma, but there was still so much pain in their eyes.

He knew they couldn't take them in. Tifa was busy enough with the bar and Cloud with his deliveries. They had enough money, but not enough to feed an extra mouth. Besides, it wouldn't be just one, it would be dozens.

He was glad he could help a little. They came over for dinner sometimes and helped out in the bar for a few gil. Tifa, Cloud, Marlene and him had given money and done work on the new orphanage so at least they had a place to stay, food and care. They went to school and no one treated them any different than anyone else. They had good lives. Good, secure lives, and a future.

But there was no warmth, no love. Of course the people running the orphanage were kind and loving, Mr. Tuesti made sure of that, but they could only give so much. What the kids needed was what he had, a family.

He wanted so badly for them to feel they belonged too.


	5. Smile

A/N: I know I haven't updated anything in forever! Blame college. It sucks the life out of you. Anyway, my writing vibes have finally come back so though I can't say how often I'll be writing, I will be writing! Anyone who is still reading, thanks for sticking with me! ^_^

Smile

She liked it when he smiled.

He could tell because her eyes always lit up when he did it, even if it was that shy, apologetic one that popped up when she handed him his lunch for the day.

She liked it when he smiled.

It made him wonder why he hadn't done it more often. Gosh, if he had known that such a simple thing like smiling would get him to feel this good; he would have started years ago.

So, the smiles became more frequent, and Cloud realized that each time, the sparkle in the wine red was brighter.

He liked the brightness, and he wanted it to be even brighter.

Which is why he was standing in front of the mirror, trying to recreate the exact smiles that made Tifa shine brightest. He didn't plan on getting caught though…

"Cloud, what are you doing?"

He jumped, slightly turning pink, embarrassed that he had gotten caught and that he had failed to detect said catcher.

He coughed, wishing the mischief would disappear from the little girl's brown eyes. "Well Marlene, I was uh-"

Marlene smiled a knowing smile and folded her arms across her chest triumphantly, making Cloud very nervous. "I think the last one you did is her favorite." She chirped, skipping off humming towards the room she and Denzel shared.

Cloud watched her go, wondering how she had grown up so fast without him realizing it.

_Wait, the last one? How did that look again…?_


	6. Conspiracy

A/N: Actually had time to churn out a couple of things during the holiday break. Happy Holidays everyone!

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Conspiracy

There was something going on and Tifa Lockhart wanted to know what it was.

It didn't help that Marlene seemed to know. All she knew was that whenever Cloud took his lunch from her, grunting his soft "Thank you," he would glance briefly at Marlene who would either nod enthusiastically or shake her head in dejection.

Tifa had never been so confused.

What made it worse was Denzel knew too, for every time this exchange happened, he would slap his hand to his forehead and mumble something that sounded like, "Oh brother…"

First she wondered if it was the lunch. She didn't think there was anything strange about what she was giving him… unless a ham sandwich, a bag of chips and a couple pieces of fruit counted as strange. It couldn't be that because why would Marlene alternate between nodding and shaking her head if Cloud got the same lunch everyday?

Maybe it was too boring? So, she asked him.

He gave her a slightly confused look and shook his head slowly. "No, I like your sandwiches."

So it wasn't the lunch. Was it the way she handed it to him? One hand versus two hands? No, that didn't seem to matter. Did she have a funny look on her face sometimes? She didn't think so…or maybe it was the bag she put it in? The paper bags weren't strange at all were they?

It was starting to hurt her brain and as it happened day after day, she just started to get more and more flustered.

This conspiracy just had to end…


	7. Okay

Okay

"Is that your dad Marlene? Wow! He's so cool!"

She simply smiled at the boy as Cloud walked towards her, gloved hand outstretched. "Ready to go home Marlene?"

"Sure Cloud!" She said, with forced enthusiasm, taking Cloud's hand. She didn't look back at the boy. She knew he'd have a confused look on his face, they all did.

Sometimes she wondered if it was okay to have two fathers.

Barrett would always be her papa, no matter what. He was the one she always remembered. His gentle eyes her first sight, his rough whiskers her first feeling, his voice her first sound. Yes, Barrett Wallace would always be her father.

But what about Cloud? He was more than a big brother. Big brothers didn't make you drink your milk and help you with your math homework, tuck you into bed and kiss you goodnight and chase the nightmares away. She knew, because Denzel would never do any of those things for her. Those were things a daddy did.

So was Cloud her papa too? Was that even allowed? The question started to eat away at her, every time Cloud picked her up and another person asked…

She must have let on more than she thought because Tifa started to notice.

She was sitting at one of the bar tables, working through the rest of the problems that she and Cloud had started the night before when Tifa walked up and gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Marlene, what's wrong?"

The feeling had gotten so strong that tears leaked out of her eyes as she turned to face Tifa and she blurted, "Tifa, am I allowed to have two daddies?"

Tifa's face went from concerned and confused to understanding and reassuring. "Why not? Is there someone who says you can't?"

Marlene sniffed. "No…"

Tifa put both hands on Marlene's shoulders. "Honey, just because you call one person 'Daddy' doesn't mean you can't feel the same for someone else. What you call people doesn't matter, it's how they make you feel."

Relief washed through Marlene as she gave Tifa a hug. Tifa always knew the right things to say, no matter what the situation. She might have two daddies, but she would always only have one mom.

She watched Tifa as she resumed bustling around the bar. Two daddies was good and all but…

She couldn't wait until the one she didn't call 'papa' married her mother.


	8. Happiness

A/N: For those still following this, sorry for the long wait! Real life really loves to snatch you away from things you love. -_- I can't promise that updates for this will be consistent, but I do have every intention of continuing! Thanks for sticking with me.

**Happiness**

Marlene was the one with all the ideas; he thought it was wise to stay out of it. But, she was right; they deserved to be happy. Sure, Tifa laughed more and Cloud smiled more, but it wasn't enough. They needed something more. They needed to take the next step.

But Denzel couldn't understand why Marlene was so impatient. Couldn't they just let them take their time? It was obvious it was going to happen. What was wrong with waiting a while longer?

"Happiness doesn't wait," Marlene had said.

He guessed she was right. So he went along, questioning Tifa's increased attention towards Cloud and vice versa. He made excuses so they could be alone together, helped with more of the chores so they had more free time, persuaded them to call each other more often.

None of it worked.

Once again, Marlene was right. They were both clueless. It would take time, he knew and he was getting tired of trying.

But, didn't they deserve happiness too? If anyone did, they did. After all those trials, why was it so hard for them?

Maybe they had just been alone for too long…


	9. Breath

Breath

He started coming home earlier.

The first time she said, "You're early!" it was like a deep breath of fresh air after being choked for so long. He drank it in greedily, basking in the warmth of the surprise and appreciation that was in her tone.

He didn't realize he had wanted that feeling for so long.

Tifa was happier too, when he came home early and since his new goal had suddenly become do anything to make Tifa happy, his coming home early accomplished two goals.

The air became clearer, he felt less constricted, less awkward. He hadn't noticed the awkwardness, the tension until it had dissipated. For once, he felt like he could breathe.

Once he had thought the only place the air was clear was the church, now, breathing in the sweet smell of Tifa's hair mixed with the smells of her cooking and the light musty smell he associated with home made him more relaxed than Aerith's church ever had.

He also realized that now that he could breathe, he could focus on other things. Helping Tifa out in the bar, spend more time with the kids, sit with Tifa after closing and just talk. It all seemed so normal, so natural, just like breathing.

Gone were the awkward silences, those moments when the tension in the room just threatened to choke him, when he had so many things to tell her and at the same time, nothing at all.

He liked breathing. It was nice.

He started to wonder if he was getting carried away when he came home one day to find Tifa on the phone, clearly trying to calm a customer.

"I'm sure he just got held up somewhere Ma'am, Cloud never misses a delivery." Tifa was saying. Cloud froze, one hand still on the garage door handle, sweat forming on his forehead.

Marlene walked by then, her eyes widening when she saw him. Cloud was bringing a hand up to motion her to be quiet when to his horror, a voice echoed throughout the house.

"Hey Marls! I thought you were going to show me your new stuffed bear?"

Yuffie popped her head around the corner, her eyes widening then a wicked smile forming on her face.

"Hey Teef!" She called in a sing-songy voice, bounding off.

Cloud let the door close, defeated. Marlene had a devious glint in her eyes that he didn't like.

"Busted." She mouthed.


End file.
